PSH Bingo

Just read on arfcom that some guy driving through Massachusetts to Maine got pulled over and cops searched him because they saw a gun case in his truck. Pants-shitilarity ensued.

An 18-year-old city resident is in a Massachusetts jail after state police said they found an arsenal in his truck.

ZOMG an arsenal!! Everybody panic? Oh. Wait. He only had two guns, some knives, and a set of brass knuckles. But not just any guns..

A Bushmaster rifle with a night scope and pistol grip.

Eeeek! A night scope and a pistol grip?! We’re all doomed!

Then there’s this:

The trooper ordered him out of the truck and patted him down — which turned up several rounds of ammunition, including a .50 caliber rifle bullet, and a knife, police said.

A single .50 cal bullet? Was it a whole cartridge? Or just the pointy bit? And, umm, what exactly is so scary about a round with no rifle to put it in? I’m betting it was probably inert and attached to a a key ring..

But, yea, if you really want to fill up your PSH bingo card, click here.

State police said troopers found a 16-inch Bushmaster assault rifle,

16 inch “assault rifle?” Umm, okay. Is that supposed to scare us because it’s too big or too small?

a Remington 12-gauge shotgun with a pistol grip,

Oh noes! Another pistol grip! hide the women and children!

seven 30-round magazine ammunition clips seven 30-round magazine ammunition clips and several boxes of ammunition.

Magazine ammunition clips? Did his truck have a high powered automatic manual transmission gear shifter too?

The assault rifle and the shotgun had both been modified and each gun was equipped with laser sightings, the paper reported.

Modified with laser sighting?! Well. That’s it. I’m heading to the bomb shelter and waiting for the Apocalypse! The guy might be able to blind me if I stare at his lasers too long! That’s even scarier than Lite-Brites!!11!1one!eleventy!

Huizinga was charged with marked lanes violation, possession of a large-capacity firearm, possession of a firearm, seven counts of possession of high-capacity feeding devices, possession of a dangerous weapon and unlawful possession of ammunition.

Now that seems a bit redundant. What’s next, charging him with being charged with a crime? Then charging him for the crime of being charged with being charged of a crime?

Huizinga could face federal charges, including transporting guns across state lanes and not having a license to carry firearms, the paper reported.

That’s funny. Federal law protects transporting firearms across State lines if the original and destination States don’t have ridiculous laws like, say, Massachusetts. Well, they’re supposed to anyway. This should be an interesting test case.

Oh, and, err, there’s no such thing as a Federal license to carry firearms. Good luck charging him with a non-existent crime.