Entries Tagged 'lol' ↓

..on the bright side

While it’s obviously a bit of a downer that the Former Republic is now officially a fascist* state, just think of the epic lulz to be had in four years when the mandate kicks in, and all the college kids who supported Obama realize that “increased access” to health care really means they have to buy insurance.

At gunpoint.

From the very insurance companies Obama, Pelosi, and fiends have spent the last few years denouncing as pure eeeeevil.

Why, the collective shrieks of “where’s my unicorn?!1” alone will almost be worth it.

It will be even more amusing if the reconciliation package passes the Senate with the Federal takeover of college loans intact. Should the Feds start handing them out like candy as they did with mortgages through their proxies at Fanny and Freddy, the young O-bots will be lucky to get a job delivering pizzas with their soon-to-be worthless degrees. Which, in turn, will make the mandatory insurance even more painful for them.

*Fascism, properly understood, is essentially a “Third Way” between capitalism and socialism where the state and the corporations (in this case the insurance and drug companies) form a symbiotic oligarchy. So, no, I’m not using the term as generic hyperbole.

Hunger Care Reform Now!

Speaking of freak shows which I wish one could ignore, watching the escaped mental patients running the asylum District of Crazy government moan about health care is actually kind of amusing. While it’s hard to make heads or tails of the endless spin, it seems their main talking point now is that it’s just too expensive. And as far as I can tell, the popular solution which most of them deny favoring is to emulate the increasingly authoritarian country whom we fought a bloody revolution against a couple hundred years ago by having government “experts” ration/deny care and generally removing as much choice from the system as they feel they can get away with.

Or, in other words, they want to make it better by making it worse. You know, to save money they shouldn’t be spending to begin with.

But, yea, this got me thinking. Apparently, nationalized health insurance is important because, without it, you might go into debt (which they would rather you accumulate by borrowing non-existent money to buy a new TV to A: stimulate the economy, B: distract you via “reality” shows  from the wholesale Treasury looting operation, and C: so they can blame your sitting in front of the TV for obesity or something) if you get sick and have to *gasp* pay the bill for some medical service which would have been considered close to Necromancy even ten years ago at an emergency room which cannot deny treatment. Or if your attention span failed during that run-on sentence,  I’m saying you won’t die without national health care.

You’ll just be stuck owing ever more worthless bits of paper to pay for it if you get sick.

Without food, however, you will die without it. Period.

So if “health care reform” is important enough to follow the lead of the open air island prison where Great Britain used to be, then shouldn’t hunger care reform be important enough to copy another authoritarian regime?

Like, say, North Korea?

Seeing as political science is essentially the art of inventing numbers to make a really stupid, collectivist point, let’s just go ahead and assume the US spends eleventy times as much per capita on food than they do in N. Korea. Let’s also claim, breathlessly, that there are 47 gajillion, err, un-in-fooded people in the US. If we were to take inspiration from Kim Jong Il, nationalize the food industry, and ration everybody a ball of cold rice every week (and perhaps a rat or something on special occasions, if you’re lucky enough to find one), we could save tons of money while still guaranteeing everyone their “fair share!”

And once the malnutrition kicks in, we’re sure to wipe out the parenthetically aforementioned obesity problem too.

Or, seeing as a vast majority of medical spending is on the elderly, well, instead of just telling them to take a pain pill and shut up and die to save money, why not just combine the two plans..

Oh my..

Just when it seemed nothing could ever be ridiculous enough to inspire me to touch the blog again after months of having my senses numbed by ridiculous political theater, this bit of rubbish from the “Gun Guys” totally pegged my facedeskometer.

Summary, in case you don’t want to give them the traffic, goes like this:

Real guy goes to a real town hall with a real gun, which, seeing as it was in New Hamster, was probably attended by other real people with real guns. This real event from the real world, however, is apparently just:

the embodiment of the gun lobby’s dangerous and irresponsible myth: that an “armed society is a polite society.”

And how do they counter this “irresponsible myth?”

But this old XBOX advertisement that was banned several years ago shows the complete opposite.

So, basically, reality is a myth, but paid actors in a fake scenario with imaginary guns in a commercial for a game console is a “cogent argument.” Oooooooooooookay.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be going back to being abducted by aliens in Fallout 3 because it seems a lot more realistic than whatever world the “Gun Guys” and the rest of the freaks in DC think they’re living in..

Bill of Fail

Whilst browsing the politics tab at Fark, my mouse was drawn into an inescapable irony vortex created by this link to the Daily Kos. In it, the author shrieks breathlessly about how Justice Thomas should be impeached. Example:

How is this man allowed to serve on our Supreme Court when he seems to have no idea what is contained in the Constitution?  He does not “embrace” the Bill of Rights?

Clarence, here’s a radical idea that may not have occurred to you yet: Look at the fucking Constitution, you dipshit.  It sure as hell contains a Bill of Rights, but does not contain any sort of Bill of Obligations or Bill of Responsibilities.

So what are these rights contained in the “fucking Constitution” which Justice Thomas doesn’t know about? Well, if you follow the link to the story which the Kosstard is apparently incapable of reading..

He gave examples: “It seems that many have come to think that each of us is owed prosperity and a certain standard of living. They’re owed air-conditioning, cars, telephones, televisions.”

Those are luxuries, Justice Thomas said.

Unless someone swapped the US and Soviet Constitutions when I wasn’t looking, it appears to me that Thomas was basically telling a group of students they shouldn’t wait around for government handouts. Because free cars and televisions aren’t rights contained in the “fucking Constitution.” Likewise, the “Bill of Responsibilities” line looks like one of those fancy metaphor thingies which one would assume the self-proclaimed intellectual giants on the left would have learned about at school.

Meanwhile, Justice Ginsburg is shocked that her use of foreign law (which obviously isn’t part of the Constitution) to decide cases is controversial. Yet Thomas is the one they want to impeach. But, again, it’s probably just projection.

Recursive Irony

A long time ago, Glenn Beck did a segment where he criticized GTA for promoting violence. Now he’s being blamed for the Pittsburgh loon, and bizarro finger-pointing ensues over at GamePolitics.

The funny part is how so many of the moonbat commenters over there seem to be frothing at the chance to get payback of some sort against the eeeeevil conservatives who try to take their toys. This, despite the fact that roughly four out of five politicians who support game censorship are so-called liberal Democrats. In fact, it’s quite amazing how the left has pushed the whole Republican = censor meme while they’re the ones who were behind 95% of the failed laws.

But, then, like most things with the left these days, they’re probably just projecting their own neurosis onto others.

I Can Has a Cognitive Dissonance?

Remember all that talk about banning guns on the official White House web site or from the mouth of the Attorney General or Secretary of State? Well, some on the left seem to think you’re a paranoid right-wing conspiracy theorist for pointing it out. Likewise, they think you’re paranoid if you believe you might have to defend yourself from tyranny. So how do they want to cure you of this paranoia?

By banning guns and sending SWAT teams to kill their political opposition.

Though, in all fairness, I suppose it wouldn’t be paranoia anymore if they actually did it.

A Public Service Announcement

Over the last few days, one can hardly spray coffee through their nose without hitting a monitor containing a story about self-proclaimed anarchist and communist neo-hippies talking about how they’re going to “overthrow” capitalism or some such. For a hilarious and extremely ironic example, see the second clip over on Hot Air featuring some hippie chick selling things to overthrow the capitalism by which she is raising money.

But, yea, I just thought I’d take this opportunity to pass along a friendly bit of advice to any misguided hippies who might pass through while googling for news about capitalism’s inevitable demise. Before you “take up arms” and start your “combat training” in order to wage civil war against us eeeevil capitalist pig-dogs or whatever, there’s one itsy bitsy detail you should probably keep in mind:

We have all the guns.

And we’re buying so many more that you’ll be lucky to find a handful from your local shop without getting on a two month backorder list. It might be worth pointing out that if your pals in Congress and the White House had their way, there would be no more arms for you to take up against us. But, then again, communist rich kids aren’t known for their ability to recognize irony..

Anyhow, as I said, this is friendly advice, so don’t take it as a threat. Most of us eeeeevil capitalist pig-dogs would much rather discuss things *gasp* peacefully until your head hurts from the sudden collision with logic. If, however, you really intend to take up arms and start a physical fight, know this:

We will finish it.